AKV's Bitch Blog

these facts should be common sense but they aren’t:

1. Dogs smell. Dogs smell nasty.  Dog owners will tell you their dog does not smell… THEY LIE.  Their nose is so infested with their fucking nasty dog smell that they don’t realise how bad it is… like smokers.  Smokers smell like shit and tend to ruin my dinner when they parade through the restaraunt after smoking outside and returning to their table… nasty.

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A friend and I were discussing the “fundamentals” of excitable lady parts….
It is safe to say that not every woman likes to have her delicate parts smacked, specifically – the hood.

Self-hood slapping is a good indicator that you can give her a good smack to the pusser!!! 

If you men insist on attempting to smacking the hood, be ready for a nice stingy slap to little johnny.

Why do people put their ugly, large mouthed, no toothed kids on their commercials? It’s creepy and annoying. They always have them hollering about whatever service or product they are pushing.  It’s not seeling your shit people. In fact, it makes me want to poke you and your dumbass kids/grandchildren in the eye… and if they aren’t your grandchildren but your children, just know that I think it should be outlawed that people have kids over 40….  if you are an older man screwing a younger woman and happen to knock her up, just know your sperm is old and the child may be mildly retarded, or at the least they will grow up to be the creepy guy or douchebag chick at their job…. in otherwords, keep your dick in your pants… eeewww!!!